Hello guys. Right, I've got a funny little story I wanna share with you today, right? I think yesterday, I walked outside my house in the morning. 6am. Nice weather. I look to the side, I see my neighbour sitting on his porch, right? And I says to him, I says "morning Wood!", 'cause his last name's Wood right? Now he stands up, he's got a boner, and he says to me "nah, I'm just glad to see ya!"

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like "just shut up, shut up". My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like "just shut the fuck up". My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like "just shut up". My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like "shut up".

Code blue, you're probably gonna die. Your heart's gonna pop and your brain's gonna fry. Code blue, you're probably gonna die, but we're here to help you stay alive. Code blue, you're probably gonna die. A body fell from the sky. It's my first day on the job. Why do I have to do this, huh? Why? Code blue.

This, my fellow travellers, is a story of an ordinary overweight child. He was much like you and I. Playing in the park with his friends. Eating lollies and shit like that. Until one fateful afternoon in which he became stuck inside a tornado. From that day forwards, he was known as the Twister Boy. It was on the very next day upon gaining these twister powers, that the Twister Boy stumbled across a house that was on fire. A little girl left the gas on, and her dog was stuck inside the flaming inferno. The Twister Boy thought quickly, and he went [wind noises], and he blew out the fire with his twister powers. He and the girl were married the next day. Had five children, none of which could reproduce the Twister Boy's powers.

Hey, how goes it? Make sure everyone in the world knows it. Take a photo of your food and shows it. Go out for a road trip on the weekend and your car gets dirt all over it so hose it. Grass is getting long, better mows it. Hope you like that ring 'cause I chose it. Cock, blows it.

I'm burying my pet today. I had him for a while but he died. I visit him in pet cemetery. This song is happy but it's not funny. I'm burying my pet today. I put him in a hole today. I say goodbye to him today because I put him in a huge fuckin' hole today. Rest in peace, pet. I'm burying my pet today. I'm burying my pet today. I'm burying him in a big hole. See ya

I'm coming back, I'm coming back. I'm coming back mother fucker I'm coming back. You thought I was gone at the end of the last song, but you were wrong. I'm back now, I'm back now. What you gonna do about it? Don't talk shit to me. Just sit down and eat that fuckin' cereal with that milk I got ya. I'm coming back, I'm coming back. I'm coming back mother fucker I'm coming back. I'm back now, what you gonna do? What you gonna do when they come for you? I'm coming back, I'm coming back, I'm coming back. That's about it. I'm back now, that's all.

Yo bro, is that what I think it is? Yep yep it is. Oh shit man. Yo man, is that what I think it is? Yeah yeah it is. Oh hell yeah. Yup yup, yeah yeah.

Oh, rap scraps. Hear my attack on the mic as I take a crap on your bike. I'm gonna steal your bike when you leave it on your front lawn while you're watching porn. I'm gonna get on your bike, ride away, 'cause I'm ten years old. I'm not gay OK? Fuck you, stop calling me gay, bitch. Well you stole my bike, yes you stole my bike but look, I don't even like that, OK? I've got better things to do today. I go to school. I learn things, I burn things, I turn things around with my hands. What do you do, just walk around and steal shit like you shit your pants? Yo, you think I ain't shit? I just stole your bike and made a profit off of it. I made $20. Gonna go down to the op shop, buy some roller skates. Skate down the street all day. Leave them on my front lawn while I'm away. Just goes to show that crime does pay. Oh, drop the beat, drop the beat. This little shit is getting himself in some deep heat. That wasn't my bike you stole, it was my son's, asshole, and I have a gun, fool. I'm gonna pull the trigger. Shoot you my little N-word, mother fucker. Teach you to steal some little innocent child's bike he left on his front lawn, bitch. Now speaking British, what's all this Harry Potter mania all about, am I right? This little Harry Potter kid shooting his magic spells all over the place, and he thinks he's all that, right? I mean if I were Voldermort, I'd just go back to the muggle world. I'd just go buy a gun and shoot the damn bastard. I mean like, he's like 14 years old or something. I doubt he has the reflexes to shoot a deflective spell on a frickin' bullet. Know what I'm saying? Bang. Why didn't you think of that Voldermort? You're the dark lord, and you didn't even think of that.